Gourmet Pet Lover Gifts

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Le Gourmet Bistro. Paging Mister Zah, paging Mister Zah. Do we have a Pete Zah here?

"She's eating in tonight."

'You order the jumbo combo?'

"Right now I'm enjoying that brief period between having just lost weight and putting it back on."

"What do you recommend that's fit for a king?"

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

'Wow! This meal if fit for a king.'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

'I suppose I must tell you about today's specials.'

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"