Gourmet Pet Lover Gifts

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"She's eating in tonight."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'You order the jumbo combo?'

"What do you recommend that's fit for a king?"

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

"Right now I'm enjoying that brief period between having just lost weight and putting it back on."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'Wow! This meal if fit for a king.'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

'I suppose I must tell you about today's specials.'

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'