Gourmet Pet Food Reviewer Gifts

'A good day! Two letters for me and a sample of 'Seafood Gourmet Delight' for you.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

"She's eating in tonight."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

Water. Food. Garnish.

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'Sir, we have a complaining customer!'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

Dog about food: 'I never realized it before, but this stuff tastes like crap.'

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'