Pet Nutritionist Gifts

Dog Food Testing Lab.

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'I know, Doctor, but she only eats a can a day!'

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"States of tofu"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Be Healthy

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'