Pet Nutritionist Dreamer Gifts

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

The Catkins Diet

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'It's a new diet. We can eat all we want. But we have to wear boxing gloves.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I found a diet website where everything is made out of chocolate and ice cream."

"This is our new product consultant."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"You could run the weight off. . . 168,000 miles should do it."

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

"I guarantee that your appetite will be suppressed if you take just one of these diet pills per day."