Pet Foodologist Gifts

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

The Catkins Diet

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

"This is our new product consultant."

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

Dog Food Testing Lab.

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."