Pet Foodologist Gifts

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

The Catkins Diet

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"This is our new product consultant."

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

New for aging dogs: Grecian Canine Formula.

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'

"Did you hear that?! That reporter just said the same ingredients in artificial meat is is found in pet foods!"