Pet Chauffeur T-Shirts

'Which license do you wish to see?'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'...and don't forget to put 10p in the meter at half past two.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'They sure have small litters.'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Upper East Side Dog Park

Dog Food

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

Car Rides - Cats

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Pets on holiday.

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'

"Let's go! And you're still not getting a car."

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I'm prescribing a placebo. You'll have to explain to him that it's really working."