Pet Care Jester Gifts

'Open it... I think they have to go potty.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

A Change of Scene.

"Another slander suit!"

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Why did I marry that clown?

He Did It!

Boomerang fetching

"Who's showing remorse now that it's time for sentencing? Huh? Who's remorseful now? Who was soooo bad?"

"I wasn't dead yet."

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

"Well, it's a good thing cats game nine lives."/"Yeah, and each one seems to cost me a fortune."

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

Ostrich Farm

'As a guideline, if you charge half as much per hour as your attorney charges you, you'll earn the same gross income, if you work twice as many hours.'

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

Reigning cats and dogs.

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

'I stopped taking the medicine because I prefer the original disease to the side effects.'

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

'Dennis, have you seen my can of Pam?'

COWS: Cow Carrot Incentive Error

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

"There's nothing good on T.V. tonight - want to go chase some cars?"

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

'Please forgive me. I'll never offend your dignity again!'

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

Letting the Cat Out

Air Bag.

'I believe in delegating nonprofessional duties. In my place the technicians sell the leashes and rubber bones!'

'I should have known that he was just playing dead.'

Strip club.