Pest Patrol Captain Gifts

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'I found the termites!'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"Did you order takeout?"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

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Pest controller tries to catch old woman who is exacerbating the problem by feeding birds.

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

"We have a termite problem."

'Hello? Animal control?'

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

"Please stop! Let me get the wine first."

'The mosquitoes have been just awful this year!'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

'We get the occasional spider but no ants'.

"I heard the mosquitoes around here were a problem, but..."

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'