Pest Pilot Gifts

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'I found the termites!'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

Dream Advertisements.

Pest controller tries to catch old woman who is exacerbating the problem by feeding birds.

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

'Hello? Animal control?'

'The mosquitoes have been just awful this year!'

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

"Please stop! Let me get the wine first."

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

"We have a termite problem."

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

Cheese robot-squad.

'We get the occasional spider but no ants'.

"I think we have carpenter ants."