Pessimism Expert Gifts

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

Tom's last day.

Doom & Gloom

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Look on the dark side."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'