Pessimism Advocate Gifts

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

Must you always be so negative?