Performance Purist Gifts

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Just be yourself."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Theatre Crowd

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Music Student

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Welcome to the wonderful world of abstract mime.

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

Trapeze Artists

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

"Page 33, line 4..."

Ballerina and the light switch.

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

Crossing the thin line into show business

"So obvious, there all the time"

"He only dances to The Dubliners."

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

"He sold out, so he's sold out"