People-watching Aficionado Gifts

"Zagat gave this place a 27 for gawking."

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Geese's Thoughts.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

100 best beheadings

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"He's an indoor cat."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

Couch and Potato

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

How the goat got square eyes.

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'