People-watching Aficionado T-Shirts

"Zagat gave this place a 27 for gawking."

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Geese's Thoughts.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

100 best beheadings

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"He's an indoor cat."

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Couch and Potato

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

How the goat got square eyes.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'