Penance Pundit Gifts

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Stop and Birch

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

Voice of the GOP

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Literary Dogs.

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"Wow, Bill! It sounds like you're developing a real moral streak!"

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

EU-budget fight

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

'Look on the bright side. You haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

'I was innocent until proven guilty, which took about fifteen minutes.'

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"No, Mr. Phelps, I have no idea where your pension went."

"We explained to the Minister that pension management fees were incredibly complex..."

"Yeah, yeah, enough about that Covid and Ukraine stuff. Here's what's REALLY important; the proper use of 'gone' and 'went'."