Penalty Pundit Gifts

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

Stop and Birch

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

Literary Dogs.

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Official Support Groups

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

'Look on the bright side. You haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.'

'I was innocent until proven guilty, which took about fifteen minutes.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.