Penalty Debater Gifts

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Stop and Birch

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Plant Parenthood...

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

Memory Content is King

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

Verbal Orders

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Man milks a book.

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'The idea of being cloned with a human being appals me..!'

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Car number plate reads - 'My multi-national corporation right or wrong.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Impeachment: the Moral High Ground Isn't as High as It Used to Be

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

Foreign policy

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'