Penalty Critic Gifts

"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Stop and Birch

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"Can you hear me now?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

Supremacist Court

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Penalty

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Moanathon.

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

Official Support Groups

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Seal hunters cutting a hole in the ice, while a seal cuts a hole around the hunters.

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"They can say what they like - stop-&-stretch works!"

'Well, I don't trust a laws system that makes it possible for a guy like me to leave the courtroom as a free man.'

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"I interpret the death penalty according to the times."

Lawyers - He defends widows and orphans, unless he is attacking widows and orphans

Boardroom salaries

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

"Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother."