Penalty Shootout Strategist Pillows

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Goal

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

The Boomerang Sanctions

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Oil dependency

Helms Burton Titulo III

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

Stop Botox Sanctions!

Deathbed Conversion

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Hockey and Cell Phones

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

"Don't worry - any sign of Putin and we hit them with more sanctions."

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'