Penalty Shootout Enthusiast Pillows

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Goal

Self Raising Flour

"We should have taken a eweber."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Crime and punishment - football.

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

Cookie Does

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'Your personals ad said you sold stocks.'

Deathbed Conversion

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

'I'm really shy you see: I guess I'll never be a 'Social Butterfly'...'

'And do you promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth so help you God?'

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

Off the post!

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'