Penalty Shootout Enthusiast Pillows

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Goal

Self Raising Flour

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"We should have taken a eweber."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Crime and punishment - football.

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

Cookie Does

Deathbed Conversion

'Your personals ad said you sold stocks.'

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

'I'm really shy you see: I guess I'll never be a 'Social Butterfly'...'

'And do you promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth so help you God?'

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

Off the post!

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

"...and over there, are the foothills of Misery Mountain."