Penalty Shootout Strategist T-Shirts

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Goal

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

The Boomerang Sanctions

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

Official Support Groups

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

Oil dependency

Helms Burton Titulo III

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

Stop Botox Sanctions!

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Hockey and Cell Phones

Deathbed Conversion

"Don't worry - any sign of Putin and we hit them with more sanctions."

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'