Penalty Kick Expert Pillows

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

Goal

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Penalty

Official Support Groups

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Footballer's Wages

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'

Deathbed Conversion

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

The corner

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

'Penalty'

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

'Death penalty'

'You gonna stop fighting? Huh? I can't hear you!'

Honey I wish you wouldn't bring your home with you

"I wouldn't buy that one. It has a terrible kick."