Penalty Expert Pillows

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Stop and Birch

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

Penalty

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"No, but I saw Purple Rain."

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"Er...Eric..."

Footballer.

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

Spot the Ball Live

'I guess i's not the worst brawl we've ever seen... but I suppose we should penalize someone anyway.'

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'Your teacher says you've been a good boy again! That means you're grounded, young man!!'

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"