Penalty Perfectionist Pillows

Penalty

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

Bullseye!

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Ironing Punctuation

Surreal ale

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Nice park. . .

"I used two spaces after every period."

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"