Penalty Kick Strategist Pillows

'Penalty'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

Goal

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Official Support Groups

Footballer's Wages

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

Something Like Sport.

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

Deathbed Conversion

"We'll swop at half time."

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'Apart from the vuvuzela incident did you enjoy England's World Cup games?'

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

"Keep working on his right knee, you're weaing him down."

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

'Death penalty'

'See you at halftime.'

Honey I wish you wouldn't bring your home with you