Peer Reviewer Gifts

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Women Supporting Women!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

The Music Critic.

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

Performance reviews in Hell.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"How was the play!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

The Critic...

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

"You call that a suit?"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."