Reference Reviewer Gifts

Is that it - ' smarter than he looks'?!

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

The Music Critic.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

The Critic...

"You call that a suit?"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

Literary critics have a very special sense of humor.

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"Head of Sales, VP of Marketing, and an endangeres species....Wow. I'm impressed..."

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'