Reference Reviewer Pillows

Is that it - ' smarter than he looks'?!

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

The Music Critic.

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"You call that a suit?"

"Head of Sales, VP of Marketing, and an endangeres species....Wow. I'm impressed..."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."