Reference Guru Gifts

"Any other references besides your Mother?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Musical genres

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

Man milks a book.

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

"Very amusing, Robertson, if I were the type to be amused."

Computer whisperer.

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Geek Intuition

'C'mon, Phil, it's not like we're trying to hit a baseball.'

"I want to be a Jockey."

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

"I'll be happy to give you innovative thinking. What are the guidelines?"

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'I think your book will be a huge success.'

'I think he was bombarded with a little too much information!'

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

"My philosophy is to sell advice not follow it!"