Reference Guru T-Shirts

"Any other references besides your Mother?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Musical genres

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

Man milks a book.

"Very amusing, Robertson, if I were the type to be amused."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

Computer whisperer.

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

Geek Intuition

"I want to be a Jockey."

'C'mon, Phil, it's not like we're trying to hit a baseball.'

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

"I'll be happy to give you innovative thinking. What are the guidelines?"

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'I think your book will be a huge success.'

'I think he was bombarded with a little too much information!'

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'