Pedagogical Strategist Gifts

A Puppet Named Juan

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

I rule by fear.

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."