Pedagogical Strategist Gifts

A Puppet Named Juan

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Will eat your homework for $.

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

I rule by fear.

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."