Learning Strategist Gifts

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

A man sitting in the grass reading

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

'...All profits are local.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'