Learning Strategist Gifts

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"How was work?"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

'...All profits are local.'