Professional Strategist Gifts

"Careful, you're probably driving in the wrong lane."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The president's men

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."