Payday Pro Gifts

Every payday was the same, Dave's family worshipped him.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Butterfly Woman

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Casual Payday."

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

Propping up a profits chart.

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I've reconsidered your request for a pay rise, and I've decided that you do deserve one after all.'

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

'They were two payroll cowboys riding together.'

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

"Of course the job has benefits - you benefit by getting a paycheck every week!"