Paycheck Protector Gifts

"Apparently, we don't negotiate for a pay rise anymore. We have to put forward a case for not taking a pay cut."

'My pay cheque is late. I'm imposing economic sanctions.'

'So much for 'pay peanuts and you get monkeys' - the monkey says he won't touch the job for less than ten grand and benefits.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

The stock market sky is falling.

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

Why do you want a career in the bank?

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

'Sorry, but I won't discuss my financial portfolio on a first date.'

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

Tred carefully mill.

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

Deadly sales figures...

"Of course the job has benefits - you benefit by getting a paycheck every week!"

"On the bright side...at least y'all don't have to wear those dadgum masks."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

'We've got to take care, sir! Last month, this thing went down and hit a guy at the floor below us!'