Paw-tastic Tv Watcher Gifts

PETFLIX

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Tree house.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."