Tv Watcher With A Twist Gifts

Grandma's remote explained

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Vegetarian Birds

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Tree house.

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"He's an indoor cat."