Children's Tv Watcher Gifts

Pepparazzi

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Tree house.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"He's an indoor cat."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

Couch and Potato

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Remote control wars.