Children's Tv Fan Gifts

'Mister Benn.'

Tweenies on tour.

Pastor of Muppets

'They had to increase security. He's being stalked by a deranged paleontologist.'

That's definitely not a 'Soup' dragon!

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"I'm in children's books, myself."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

TV Situations vacant.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Before I begin, I should issue a Tigger warning."

"Previously on..."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."

'I had to put the peas in my ears... they kept falling out my nose!'

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."