Children's Television Gifts

"Do you have something more like Alex the Architect?"

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

PRESIDENT CLINTON EXCHANGES HUGS WITH HIS NEW VIOLENCE CZAR

Pastor of Muppets

Children's Television Character Genealogy Service. Yes, Big Bird, it goes back several million years, but you are related to Barney the Dinosaur!

Child thinking pregnant mother looks like a Telly-Tubby.

'If I had my life to live over, I'd pay more attention to Sesame Street.'

Least popular puppet ever: kale monster!

Donald Trump cuts PBS funding.

"She no longer wants to reside in Mr Roger's Neighbourhood."

'Noddy never done US any harm!'

'Let's see what's happening inside a Turkish maximum security prison, through the... Barred window.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

The reason I produce children's tv I hate 'em I want to belittle and humiliate them as much as I can get away with.

Children's Parties

"That'll be five bucks."

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

Clown walks balloon dog

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

'I expect 'Sesame Street has seen some new developments since I was your age?'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'and they wonder what the kids see in Bob the Builder!'

"I like everything Big Bird's ever done."

'U-S-A! U-S-A!'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

'They had to increase security. He's being stalked by a deranged paleontologist.'

'You've got to help me doc', I keep thinking I'm a children's T.V. presenter.'

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

"And did you pack this bag yourself, sir?"

"Mum, it's the poste'mon"

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

"... So it turns out that all we were doing was meddling with a delicate ecosystem."

Pepparazzi

Ian McCaskill