Quirky Tv Watcher Gifts

'Do you have to yell 'cut' every time you turn the TV off?'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Och lye the news'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.