Quirky Program Watcher Gifts

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Penguin

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Pyramid Garden

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

Latter-day saints

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

A Peeping Tom.

Pandemic Fashion

"Sir, would you mind changing places with me?"

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

Snake disappearing through door.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

"Look...it's the Perez twins."

"I can't believe they allow bowling in their apartment."

"They put hot pepper in the bird feeder to keep squirrels away, but it attracted these dorks."