Quirky Program Watcher Pillows

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Penguin

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Pyramid Garden

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

Latter-day saints

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

A Peeping Tom.

"Sir, would you mind changing places with me?"

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

Pandemic Fashion

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

Snake disappearing through door.

"Look...it's the Perez twins."

"I can't believe they allow bowling in their apartment."