Paw-tastic Friend Gifts

The perfect relationship

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Canine Scentipede

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Christmas Pets

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Your love gives me strength."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Humans are strange."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

"Cat park"

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Dog Day Afternoon

Examination.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'