Patty Pranksters Pillows

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

Night of the Latkes

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

Uncle Donnie

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"We've invented a new word!"

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Back to the Holidays

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'