Patriotic Pranksters Pillows

American Flag Trick

'No, not your Uncle Sam. The Uncle Sam!'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

Uncle Donnie

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Back to the Holidays

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Children in a Nursery.

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"So there's this big Mother...."

Hide and Seek

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Modern animal communication

'Peabody, Yomp, Lee, Brodski & Dirkshaw...buddies since 4th grade.

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Politics Books