Pattern Ponderer Gifts

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

'Infinite'

'If you're really open to change, you won't go South this year.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

High School Schedule

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

Max Weber

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Is there a God?"

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

Caption Contest TK

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Bizarre sights.

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

Left and Right: Please be consistent.