Pattern Ponderer Pillows

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

'Infinite'

'If you're really open to change, you won't go South this year.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

High School Schedule

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

Max Weber

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

Caption Contest TK

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

"Is there a God?"

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Bizarre sights.