Pasture Humorist Pillows

I can see you didn't invite me round here for my sparkling conversation!

Please keep on the grass.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

I fart more than that!

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

A Venus cow trap.

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Cow Pollen

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Ham-Dram