Pasture Humorist Gifts

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

I can see you didn't invite me round here for my sparkling conversation!

Please keep on the grass.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Bubble Gum Farms.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

A Venus cow trap.

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Cow Pollen

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Ham-Dram